


The Mind is a Confusing Place

by Firefly



Series: Star Trek: Into Darkness Drabbles [1]
Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies), Star Trek: Into Darkness - Fandom
Genre: M/M, Star Trek: Into Darkness Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-19
Updated: 2013-05-19
Packaged: 2017-12-12 07:12:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,431
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/808761
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Firefly/pseuds/Firefly
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A drabble inspired by the movie.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Mind is a Confusing Place

**Author's Note:**

> I've seen the movie 4 times now and every time I keep having the same thoughts about different scenes. One such thought led to this drabble and I had to write it. 
> 
> If I wasn't already working on another fic I'd be tempted to extend this.

* * *

Kirk continued to watch Spock out of the corner of his eye as the others continued the conversation without noticing the quiet Commander. Not that him being quiet was strange...but something just bugged Kirk and he couldn't put his finger on what. Just a gut feeling he had and he was determined to figure out just what was going on with their half-Vulcan compatriot.

 

"Spock. Come with me please. I need your opinion on something."

 

Bones, Chekov and Scotty barely spared a glance as Spock and the Captain left the table while they continued their argument about the merits of sightseeing vs. drinking while on shore leave.

 

"How may I help you Captain?"

 

"What's up Spock?"

 

"Captain?"

 

"Spock, be straight with me. You've had something rattling around up there in that big brain of yours for the past two days and whatever it is has been bothering you. So what is it?"

 

Spock's brow furrowed slightly as he sat down in the back corner booth that Kirk had led him to. The nearby tables were empty due to the early hour of the day so that they could be somewhat assured of privacy. "Captain..."

 

Kirk waited as Spock appeared to gather his thoughts but when no words were forthcoming he huffed, "Spock just speak. Words. I know you can use them."

 

"Two days ago I was asked for my thoughts on where Khan and his...people should be stored."

 

Kirk tensed up minutely at the mention of the name of the man who still evoked mixed thoughts and feelings in Kirk.

 

"After the break-in and almost theft of the cryo-tubes last week Starfleet has been attempting to figure out how to handle the situation." Spock paused as a look of almost-confusion crossed his face.

 

Kirk leaned towards Spock's side of the booth as he attempted to conceal his own ill feelings at discussing the current topic. "So what was the logical conclusion Mr. Spock? Where will they store Khan and his people now?"

 

Spock looked up at Kirk for the first time since sitting, his attention solely focused on Kirk. "I know not where they decided to house Khan and his people. I gave them the logical suggestions and left it to them as it is their decision."

 

Now it was Kirk's turn to frown outright. "So then what's bothering you Spock? Clearly something is on your mind."

 

Spock hesitated.

 

Kirk tried not to show his growing unease at that fact. Whatever was on Spock's mind was clearly something that did not make sense to the hybrid.

 

"Captain..."

 

Kirk waited.

 

"Captain, you feel things."

 

Kirk raised an eyebrow. Nodding, "Yes, I am human. I feel things. You're half-human. You feel things too. Just a year and a half ago you cried for me. It took my dying to accomplish such a feat but it happened."

 

Kirk was still uncomfortable discussing his death. He was even more uncomfortable admitting that he was brought back using the blood of the man that he still can't outright hate. So he deflected those thoughts and feelings by joking and usually Spock would address such a tactic yet today Spock just nodded in agreement. Now Kirk really felt uneasy. "Spock-"

 

"Captain, if you harbored feelings for someone but your family was threatened would you automatically compartmentalize those feelings away so that you could betray and kill that person and his crew when you knew he did not realize what he had started and you could not be sure that he would help you without anything more being asked of you?"

 

Kirk stopped breathing for a few moments before he remembered that he was expected to respond. "Spock...what...why?"

 

Spock seemed more at ease now that he had put forth the question that had been bothering him and was now waiting for the answer. "When I was fighting Khan after your temporary death I enacted a mind-meld with him. I admit that I was not only trying to gain a better advantage over him but also attempting to gain insight into the workings of his mind. I was furious over your death and anything that I could use against him to avenge you I was willing to do at that time. What I found inside his mind was both fascinating and terrifying."

 

"Terrifying?"

 

Spock nodded. "His mind is so different from a normal human's yet so similar at the same time. He is better at compartmentalizing than normal human beings though."

 

Kirk sat up more alert and leaned forward even more. "Compartmentalizing? Feelings? Spock, what did you find in there? Why are you asking me this?" 

 

Kirk had an idea but he didn't want to voice it aloud.

 

"He was correct when he informed us that not only was he intelligent but savage as well. And that his savagery was a big part of why Admiral Marcus wanted him. Yet his savagery is also a big part of why I found the feelings that he had buried deep down in the depths of his mind."

 

Spock waited until the waitress had passed their booth before continuing. "The interactions you shared with Khan; the fighting, the plotting, the dual usage of each other were all a part of a mating act to him. As well as your cunning and refusal to back down. Even if it led to your own agony or death."

 

Kirk sputtered. "A mat...mat...mat-"

 

Spock nodded. "A mating act."

 

"And you're just telling me this now?!?"

 

Spock tilted his head as he frowned. "It was not relevant before now. You asked what thoughts I was having and I answered."

 

Kirk didn't know where to start first.

 

Yes he did. "Relevant? Relevant! You could have told me then."

 

"You had just recovered and he had already been slotted to be frozen once again as soon as Dr. McCoy could assure that you would not need any more of Khan's blood and would heal and wake up on your own. And it was also imperative not to upset your state of being because that would negatively affect your slowly increasing good health."

 

Kirk took deep cleansing breaths as the thoughts rushed through his head. _Mating act? He saw me as a mate? He thought...yet that sonofabitch still tried to kill me. To keep his family safe. You didn't know that at the time, you thought it was a ploy. Still, he tried to kill me and would have. He hurt Carol and Scotty. He tried to kill my crew. All for his...Wait._

 

"You called them his family. Not crew. You actually called them his family."

 

Spock nodded. "That is correct. That is how he truly thought of them. His crew was his family. They were all they had left after they were hunted down."

 

"Huh." Kirk tried to control the thoughts running rampant inside his head. It was a very difficult task.

 

"Why now Spock? Why was it relevant now?"

 

Spock looked at the Captain as if he had missed something that should have been completely obvious. "The ones who were attempting to steal Khan and his people are unlikely to stop just because they have been moved. There is no reason to steal Khan without removing him from his cryo-tube. Even if they solely wanted to experiment on his body they most likely would not know the correct dosage for keeping him sedated and thus he would subdue-most likely kill-his captors, wake his crew and escape. His main concern would most logically be finding shelter and safety for them first and foremost."

 

Kirk felt as if he was on the edge of his seat. "And after that?"

 

Spock's eyes bore into Kirk's. "After shelter and safety for his crew, his primal side would be commanding him to finish what you started."

 

"What I started?" Kirk reared back. He made sure he stressed his disbelief when voicing the 'I'.

 

Spock nodded. "Yes Captain. In his eyes, you started the mating act and he has accepted. That decision was quite clear in his head. If he had not needed to retrieve and protect his family and his anger was not so intense at the time, he would have taken you with them as well. It did not happen that way but if he were to reawaken, once his family's safety is no longer his main concern, he will come and claim what you offered."

 

"What I offered?" Kirk couldn't hide his surprise. Again, his disbelief was stressed when voicing the 'I'.

 

Spock nodded. "Yes Captain. By his customs you offered Khan yourself."

 

* * *

 

**Author's Note:**

> Yeah, so this was based on the mind-meld that Spock performed on Khan during their fight at the end. It wasn't as long as the one with Pike but I figure that Khan's brain would work faster than Pike's anyway given his genetic enhancement. Not to mention that the savagery of Khan's being would also probably make the feelings stronger even if Khan didn't intend to give in to them but use them to his advantage. Always an angle with that guy. But I still love him.
> 
> (And this is longer than a typical drabble but once I started it just wouldn't end until I got to a certain point.)


End file.
